Tuesday Funny: All The Things You Must Have Said To Your Children, In Poster Form

Tuesday funny: All The Things You Must Have Said To Your Children, In Poster Form. We ran across these absolutely hilarious masterpieces on DesignTaxi and felt obligated to share such comical pieces.

Iowa-based artist Nathan Ripperger has come up with a series of humorous yet adorable posters expressing the things he has said to his children. At the time, they may have been some serious situations, but looking back now, things that you might have said to your children seem pretty comical now.

If your words are still not going down well with your kids, perhaps these posters would be more effective? Then again, maybe not.

images via


243 thoughts on “Tuesday Funny: All The Things You Must Have Said To Your Children, In Poster Form

  1. “I didn’t do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can’t prove anything”. Thank you Bart Simpson. (This phrase came in particularly handy when my youngest brother was once again found locked in the shed, after giving one of my Trolls a skinhead).

    Great post! Welcome to the Freshly Pressed club!

  2. Oh WOW can I relate…

    I have a running list of “Things I never thought I’d ever have to say in my entire life to my kids.” One of my faves is “Kindly remove your scrotum from my kitchen island, please.”

    I’ll let you guess the backstory there… (and I can guess that no one reading this post will ever accept an invitation to eat at my house…)


    1. Yes, I routinely tell my 4 year old son to put away his penis. He sometimes calls it his “squidward” to be funny. “I am chasing my sister with my squidward!” “Put squidward away. Right NOW!” *sigh* It starts so early with boys and their love of their penis.

  3. LOVE! I have 6 kids. I could fill a journal with stuff like this. The two youngest are boys…and it seems that most of the sentences I say have the word “penis” in them lately.

  4. I don’t have kids. But I have a niece and nephew. And I’ve said some crazy sentences before and I know my sister (their mom) has too. The penguin one makes me laugh really hard!

  5. Yeah, not speaking to my youngest until she’s clothed, arm licking . . . these have my kid’s name all over them.

  6. These are HILARIOUS!

    I try to keep a running tab of the ridiculous things I catch myself saying to my two year old..I can’t. It’s impossible. I tweet them and write them down when I can. When I can’t, I just I remember them…but not necessarily so that I can say them again.

    I cannot tell you how many times I have requested that my son remove the toilet seat off of his head…or asked how the toilet seat got stuck on his head.

    This morning I said to my 2 year old, “Go around the cat not OVER the cat.” It seemed like a perfectly normal statement at the time.

  7. The things I say to my child that sound perfectly logical at the time but taken out of context such as above, are truly weird.

    I can see myself saying some of these.

  8. I’d like to see illustrations for “Why is everything WET?” and, “What smells like poop?” These are two things I have, sadly, said more than a handful of times in the past week.

    Excellent post. Love this…

  9. I have the sudden urge to take all of those signs and post them around my neighborhood. Perhaps I’ll even sell them to people I know who have children. :p

  10. What a laugh! Such a unique, creative concept, and as a mother, I can relate and must confess, I think I’ve said a few of those things myself! Off to Pin you! (Now to pick my favorite one to pin…hmmm…)

  11. Awesome, I loved it. I have two kids and yes – you do end up saying strange things.
    Kids they have a way of driving you crazy, making you laugh and thinking “did I say that”?

  12. I have totally said some of these, except to my little sister, as we’re ten years apart…and I’m kind of like a bossy second mother to her 🙂
    I’ve said, “Stop licking my arm, little freak!” Actually, she’s licked my leg before…and my foot too :/ She says she’s a wolf. Not just any wolf though. A “friendly” wolf and that’s apparently what friendly wolves do.
    Also, I’ve asked her to put her underwear on at least 1,000,000 times before I’ll do anything for her.
    She’s always roaming around without clothes. It’s kind of gross, but I get it. I used to do the same thing xD
    Little kids…tisk, tisk.
    Glad I never was one.

  13. Lol I especially like the don’t lick my arm one. The honey one makes me thing of the Don’t put Mustard in the Custard rhyme.

    I think the things kids say would make some great posters too. I work in childcare and recently we’ve had “My Daddy got me chicken pox”, “I’m a giant pear, giant pears don’t use chairs”, “I’m not (name), I’m Spiderman. Spiderman doesn’t give hugs” and “My spoon’s too heavy” (when a child didn’t want to eat)

  14. I used to work as a preschool teacher, and although I was very used to the pre-k kids, I ended up in the nursery toward the end because it was a lighter job and less hours. A few of the main phrases were: “Okay, who smells?”, “Uh oh. The batteries are dead on the swing again,” and “Just because you can walk now doesn’t mean you get to re-arrange the room.” This post takes the cake though. Thanks for sharing!

  15. And if you’re not going to wear underwear to school, at least close your legs when you’re wearing a dress while sitting on the floor during circle time! 🙂 Loved your post!

    1. Too funny – but imagine this. You’re potty training your little girl and she wants to put “big girl pants” over her pullup. Imagine now that she get’s to daycare to show that she’s wearing pink princess pullup with big girl pants over them. But the big girl pants can out of your drawer and is a red hot g-string!! Yes it happened!!!

  16. I think I have to order a poster- just because I’ve said the toilet seat one AND because he’s from Iowa. 🙂 Wonder if his Etsy sales are going to go through the roof since you guys got Freshly Pressed!? Congrats and thanks for sharing.

  17. Those are hilarious! When I was a kid in the early 1970’s, I got a pair of walkie-talkies for my birthday. And I remember, as my friend, Robby, and I communicated on them, picking up this “soundbyte” by accident: “Sam, take that peanut butter out of your mouth!”

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  20. this is too hilarious! they literally made me laugh out loud. i have a 3 year old and i get these so much more! stunning. (liked your page on facebook immediately!)

  21. I always seem to say these when I’m on the phone, so the person I’m talking to will hear “Get that Barbie doll out of your brothers ear, NOW!!! or “Sandwiches are for EATING!” I also do a lot of asking little people to put on underwear. Hilarious! Thanks for the giggle!

  22. Reblogged this on Elemental Magic and commented:
    I had to just reblog this post 😀
    Funny…….. i understand I do not have children at all… but I do remember being a CHILD 😛
    And I do not remember my mum ever telling me any of these…..
    But it MAY happen 😀

  23. some more,whats found on the floor will go to the refuse bin guess what, my husband’s laptop did.

    On my daughters clothes pile, This iron is on strike,
    From my grandmother’s wall: This kitchen is closed due to illness~I am sick of cooking.

  24. Reblogged this on emmyrue and commented:
    My favorite overheard parental comment has to be “Stop elbowing the orange!”. I was giggling for the rest of the shopping trip.

  25. Reblogged this on Aaron corbett and commented:
    Absolutely amazing, so many people have been able to relate to these pictures and I for one even though not having kids and being at university definitely know that some of these have been thrown at me especially the hes your brother not a pull toy and did you put honey on your brothers head? haha my personal favourite being “Stop riding that penguin. We’re leaving”. I may have to use this as some inspiration for my new quirky little doodle obsession and start making them into something like these. more on this soon.

  26. I needed this! I especially love “Stop riding that penguin” and “Don’t lick my arm…that’s what weird kids do.” Hilarious and reassuring that I am not alone!

  27. It is like you live in my brain. I have three boys and I think you should make a sign that looks like the picture I posted yesterday. allthatmakesyou.com and read yesterdays, “Your dad is a bone doctor! How can you NOT know there is NOT a bone in it?”

  28. This was great to read. I can remember my mom yelling at me “you can’t expect the dog to play with you when you’ve chased her under the bed and you’re hitting her with the yard stick!” Really I wasn’t hitting her, I was just poking her to get out from under the bed to play… no wonder I got bit!!! Lesson learned… dogs have teeth and are much faster than a three year old getting under and out from beneath the bed, plus – the poodle didn’t want to play if she’s hiding from you in the first place. My poor mother – she earned every grey hair on her head!

  29. Things I have had to request of my son:
    “Do not lick your grandmother!”
    “Do not rub snot on people’s clothes!”
    “Do not sniff the crotch of your pants! If you wore them, they’re dirty! Put them in the wash!”
    “Please get the cat out of the bathtub!” (yes, cats can swim, but a five week old kitten treading water in an old claw foot tub is just a bit too cruel)
    “You cannot pee on the oak tree out front next to the road!”

    Now that he has his own child, I wonder what interesting requests he will need to make of his daughter. Tee-hee!

  30. I love these posters. It will effective surely. Even myself is fond of with pictures and photos because of children mind. Only letters are boring… even my blog. I am planning to attach photos later. Thank you for your giving me idea. And please continue your artistic activity like this :o))

  31. Reblogged this on queenofbenignneglect and commented:
    If you have children, especially boys, you will fall over laughing at these sayings in poster form. You will also think up a few of your own, either things your parents said to you or ones you told your children (that you NEVER ever thought would come out of your mouth).

  32. My BFF has 4-year-old twin girls and a 1-year-old boy so I get a daily download of things she has to yell.

  33. Brilliant! Yep, I can relate too. I have one dirty little 3 year old…I recently had to tell him that “going to the toilet for a ‘number two’ should not be referred to as ‘i’ve done a bucket full of eels'”. Dirty filthy little boys…I could write a book!

  34. Reblogged this on House Of Lydeeah Jade and commented:
    This fine Thursday Morning I checked out this amazing featured blog post and it made me laugh, the cute posters from Artist Nathan Ripperger of all the things he said to his kids.

    Check out DenyDesigns.wordpress.com

    Love Lydeeah

  35. It’s not the number of these that I’ve said that frightens me. It’s how many I’ve said within the last week.

    Reminds me of one of my all-time favorites, said by Col. Henry Blake on M*A*S*H: “I know she put ice cubes in your underwear, girls are like that. But it is not ok to hit your sister with the cat!”

  36. This is a crack up! My favorite rule I just came up with last week:

    Even though technically you CAN “milk” the momma dog, that does not mean you should “milk” the momma dog…and for future reference the same rule applies to the cat.

    I started a facebook community for parents to share the funny rules that they never thought they would say. 🙂 Anyone can post!

  37. LOL I loved this. My wife and I are about to have our first child, he is a boy and he is due 5 days before our 2 year wedding anniversary. I have to say I loved your post. We are hoping and praying for all boys. Thank you for the much needed laugh…

  38. These are so funny! I think i’ll link this to my primary school teachers group – they will go down a treat!
    Thanks so much for sharing the laugh!

  39. Reblogged this on therosesthorn and commented:
    I love this! Now that my son is beginning to understand what i’m saying to him, I’m starting to empathise with blogs like this!

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