Tuesday Funny: All The Things You Must Have Said To Your Children, In Poster Form

Tuesday funny: All The Things You Must Have Said To Your Children, In Poster Form. We ran across these absolutely hilarious masterpieces on DesignTaxi and felt obligated to share such comical pieces.

Iowa-based artist Nathan Ripperger has come up with a series of humorous yet adorable posters expressing the things he has said to his children. At the time, they may have been some serious situations, but looking back now, things that you might have said to your children seem pretty comical now.

If your words are still not going down well with your kids, perhaps these posters would be more effective? Then again, maybe not.

images via


    • Wow! Those are just awesome. It’s funny how everything seems so serious at the time, but just seems funny in retrospect.

  1. “I didn’t do it. Nobody saw me do it. You can’t prove anything”. Thank you Bart Simpson. (This phrase came in particularly handy when my youngest brother was once again found locked in the shed, after giving one of my Trolls a skinhead).

    Great post! Welcome to the Freshly Pressed club!

  2. Oh WOW can I relate…

    I have a running list of “Things I never thought I’d ever have to say in my entire life to my kids.” One of my faves is “Kindly remove your scrotum from my kitchen island, please.”

    I’ll let you guess the backstory there… (and I can guess that no one reading this post will ever accept an invitation to eat at my house…)

    • Oh my gosh! We are laughing so hard here that someone is lying on the floor laughing at that.
      Kids say the darndest things! ahahah

    • Yes, I routinely tell my 4 year old son to put away his penis. He sometimes calls it his “squidward” to be funny. “I am chasing my sister with my squidward!” “Put squidward away. Right NOW!” *sigh* It starts so early with boys and their love of their penis.

  3. JuJuBee said:

    LOVE! I have 6 kids. I could fill a journal with stuff like this. The two youngest are boys…and it seems that most of the sentences I say have the word “penis” in them lately.

  4. xojmo said:

    I don’t have kids. But I have a niece and nephew. And I’ve said some crazy sentences before and I know my sister (their mom) has too. The penguin one makes me laugh really hard!

  5. Wonderfully inventive concept! Seriously, this idea rocks!

    • Doesn’t it?! We could not pass up posting this one!

  6. Reblogged by railcitybaby.com

    We’re expecting our first baby, and this gave us a lot to look forward to!

  7. Tough call, but I think my favorite is the penguin. Great job!

  8. K. S. Bowers said:

    Yeah, not speaking to my youngest until she’s clothed, arm licking . . . these have my kid’s name all over them.

  9. These are HILARIOUS!

    I try to keep a running tab of the ridiculous things I catch myself saying to my two year old..I can’t. It’s impossible. I tweet them and write them down when I can. When I can’t, I just I remember them…but not necessarily so that I can say them again.

    I cannot tell you how many times I have requested that my son remove the toilet seat off of his head…or asked how the toilet seat got stuck on his head.

    This morning I said to my 2 year old, “Go around the cat not OVER the cat.” It seemed like a perfectly normal statement at the time.

    • Ahahahah! Go around and not OVER the cat. Amazing.

      • I guess it could have been worse. He could have tried to go under. Le sigh. Creative children.

  10. aso127 said:

    This is really a good work. I appreciate your efforts behind that. Have a great day!

    • Wow, thank you. I really appreciate! Have a fantastic rest of your day!

  11. Yikes! My son actually got his head stuck in one of those training toilet seats when he was 3 years old, so I can totally see that happening. . .

    • My son too! – maybe they should come with a warning – “Do not let your son put this on his head” :)

  12. Crystal said:

    The things I say to my child that sound perfectly logical at the time but taken out of context such as above, are truly weird.

    I can see myself saying some of these.

  13. I’ve said some of these. They don’t look quite as… parental, in poster form. :-/

  14. Reblogged this on heathermcamp and commented:
    I’ve got to share this one – this blogger has a great sense of humor!

  15. These are absolutely hysterical. I don’t know which one is my favorite, thought the last one is a total hoot!

  16. Y said:

    Soooo Big!

  17. No, We cannot take him back to the Hospital. You have to keep babies when you bring them home.

  18. I’d like to see illustrations for “Why is everything WET?” and, “What smells like poop?” These are two things I have, sadly, said more than a handful of times in the past week.

    Excellent post. Love this…

  19. jensine said:

    Must pass this on to an illustrator friend of mine am sure she will love them … Love the riding the penguin one :-)

  20. Wait wait wait…you mean you’re not supposed to build a fort in church? I don’t think my mother ever told me that ’cause I still do that…

  21. Hilarious….. fantastic pictures though….. awesome…

  22. Is it scary that these seem eerily familiar to me? I suppose my kids really ARE normal, after all :P
    Great post, thanks for sharing!

  23. “weird kids” – because clearly our own kids aren’t “weird”!

    Love it!

  24. Matt said:

    Hahaha! These are great! I think you would enjoy my blog http://mistergkids.wordpress.com/ which is a comic based on things kids say in elementary school, all 100% true. Check it out – thanks!

  25. I said the toilet seat one last week. And the licking one.

  26. Fun stuff! Funny sayings that look neat on posters — especially that penguin.

  27. Haha! Brilliant! I said the arm licking one last week too – that makes me feel better.

  28. This is fantastic. I bet the kid in question is hilarious..

  29. “Stop riding that penguin, we’re leaving”… I can’t stop laughing at that!

  30. Wes B. said:

    I have the sudden urge to take all of those signs and post them around my neighborhood. Perhaps I’ll even sell them to people I know who have children. :p

  31. Life's a Bowl said:

    The toilet seat comment is fabulous :P

  32. parentingalive said:

    What a laugh! Such a unique, creative concept, and as a mother, I can relate and must confess, I think I’ve said a few of those things myself! Off to Pin you! (Now to pick my favorite one to pin…hmmm…)

  33. Oh wow! All the crazy thing I’m going to be saying to my son in a year or two.

  34. Please, please PLEASE do one that says: So, how did Spider-Man get into the toilet in the first place?
    Love them. Thank you!

  35. Awesome, I loved it. I have two kids and yes – you do end up saying strange things.
    Kids they have a way of driving you crazy, making you laugh and thinking “did I say that”?

  36. Hahaha! Much too true. Would like to add ‘the dog is not a rollercoaster’

  37. Taryn Williamson said:

    I have totally said some of these, except to my little sister, as we’re ten years apart…and I’m kind of like a bossy second mother to her :)
    I’ve said, “Stop licking my arm, little freak!” Actually, she’s licked my leg before…and my foot too :/ She says she’s a wolf. Not just any wolf though. A “friendly” wolf and that’s apparently what friendly wolves do.
    Also, I’ve asked her to put her underwear on at least 1,000,000 times before I’ll do anything for her.
    She’s always roaming around without clothes. It’s kind of gross, but I get it. I used to do the same thing xD
    Little kids…tisk, tisk.
    Glad I never was one.

  38. Ammon said:

    These should be published! I’ve got some gems from my own kids that could be included.

  39. Lucybird said:

    Lol I especially like the don’t lick my arm one. The honey one makes me thing of the Don’t put Mustard in the Custard rhyme.

    I think the things kids say would make some great posters too. I work in childcare and recently we’ve had “My Daddy got me chicken pox”, “I’m a giant pear, giant pears don’t use chairs”, “I’m not (name), I’m Spiderman. Spiderman doesn’t give hugs” and “My spoon’s too heavy” (when a child didn’t want to eat)

  40. Very creative post… I actually just used the arm licking phrase yesterday on my two year old daughter who spent almost the entire day walking around our home pretending to be a dog :)

  41. Very original and nice that your were Freshly Postered…oops, I mean freshly Pressed!

    Mr. Bricks

  42. I couldn’t love these more. Or as I say to my kids, “If you don’t want to smell his feet, stop attacking him with that sword.”

  43. Dawn said:

    Add “Don’t pee on the cat” and you’ve about got them all. Hilarious! Thanks!

  44. I can relate. My daughter elicits some quotable quotes from me sometimes

  45. Except for the snorkel hitting the “cat” door, I can imagine these situations coming up somewhere.

  46. lucieloves said:

    PLEASE make these into posters – or at least cards! I love the Penguin one!

  47. I used to work as a preschool teacher, and although I was very used to the pre-k kids, I ended up in the nursery toward the end because it was a lighter job and less hours. A few of the main phrases were: “Okay, who smells?”, “Uh oh. The batteries are dead on the swing again,” and “Just because you can walk now doesn’t mean you get to re-arrange the room.” This post takes the cake though. Thanks for sharing!

  48. “This is why we can’t have nice things!” Heard that one a time or two and have repeated it to my husband on occasion…

  49. Karen said:

    And if you’re not going to wear underwear to school, at least close your legs when you’re wearing a dress while sitting on the floor during circle time! :) Loved your post!

    • Charlie said:

      Too funny – but imagine this. You’re potty training your little girl and she wants to put “big girl pants” over her pullup. Imagine now that she get’s to daycare to show that she’s wearing pink princess pullup with big girl pants over them. But the big girl pants can out of your drawer and is a red hot g-string!! Yes it happened!!!

  50. I think I’ve said at least one of these things at one point. Fun stuff! Thanks for putting a smile in the day.
    Happy Pages,

  51. I envy how you make your blogs very interesting and easy to read. And indeed I spread the love. I had it reblogged. It’s something that everyone should know. Thank you.

  52. I think I have to order a poster- just because I’ve said the toilet seat one AND because he’s from Iowa. :-) Wonder if his Etsy sales are going to go through the roof since you guys got Freshly Pressed!? Congrats and thanks for sharing.

  53. Scott said:

    Those are hilarious! When I was a kid in the early 1970′s, I got a pair of walkie-talkies for my birthday. And I remember, as my friend, Robby, and I communicated on them, picking up this “soundbyte” by accident: “Sam, take that peanut butter out of your mouth!”

  54. I have actually said ‘don’t lick my arm – that’s wierd’ to my two year old. Glad it’s not just me…

  55. Awesome posters… Yes I actually have said many of these things to my kids. I’m gonna share this post all over the place! Congratulations & Good luck to you:)

  56. Thanks, I needed this today! I laughed so hard I am crying… I need these in my house to remind me I am normal! Two years olds… gotta love them!

  57. منتديات فنان سات 2012 , منتديات فنان سات, منتدي فنان سات, موقع فنان سات, برامج 2012 , فنان سات . فنان . سات . دش . ستلايت . برامج

  58. Girl vs Zombies said:

    clever, nice artwork!

  59. lauriejlong said:

    Oh… the things we say to our children. Clever art form!

  60. Lol!! I have heard people say “his your brother not a toy” a couple of times lol!

  61. 2lifefuls said:

    Linked on oneproudparent

    Awesome!!! Laughter really IS the best…

  62. ambermlee75 said:

    Loved it! Reminded me so much of my five-year-old I shared on my blog! Thank you!!

  63. Hilarious, and the sad part is that I’ve actually said some of those things to my kids! Thanks for sharing.

  64. Tough call, but I think my favorite is the penguin. Great job!

  65. millayt said:

    The visuals add so much to the words…much easier to imagine! Great post! Loved it!

  66. All children should be exiled to some island in Antarctica

  67. Jose Ramapuram said:

    Nice images :)

  68. You forgot “Don’t lick the car!!”

  69. Pingback: New post test |

  70. mutheu said:

    this is too hilarious! they literally made me laugh out loud. i have a 3 year old and i get these so much more! stunning. (liked your page on facebook immediately!)

  71. stephanie said:

    I always seem to say these when I’m on the phone, so the person I’m talking to will hear “Get that Barbie doll out of your brothers ear, NOW!!! or “Sandwiches are for EATING!” I also do a lot of asking little people to put on underwear. Hilarious! Thanks for the giggle!

  72. !!YaZ!! said:

    Reblogged this on Elemental Magic and commented:
    I had to just reblog this post :D
    Funny…….. i understand I do not have children at all… but I do remember being a CHILD :P
    And I do not remember my mum ever telling me any of these…..
    But it MAY happen :D

  73. parwatisingari said:

    some more,whats found on the floor will go to the refuse bin guess what, my husband’s laptop did.

    On my daughters clothes pile, This iron is on strike,
    From my grandmother’s wall: This kitchen is closed due to illness~I am sick of cooking.

  74. emmyrue said:

    Reblogged this on emmyrue and commented:
    My favorite overheard parental comment has to be “Stop elbowing the orange!”. I was giggling for the rest of the shopping trip.

  75. I would totally wear some of those as t-shirts… everyone I meet needs to know I will not speak to them until they are wearing underwear

  76. I love, love, love it! I am constantly finding humor in my children. “Sometimes to much humor!” Is that a bad thing? I really enjoyed this post.
    Peach State

  77. Hilarious!! Congrats on getting Pressed!!

  78. Love, love, love this….. would you please add my mother’s immortal words upon leaving our “guinea-pig cage room” thirty-five years ago: “I have stepped on my last turd!”

  79. Reblogged this on Aaron corbett and commented:
    Absolutely amazing, so many people have been able to relate to these pictures and I for one even though not having kids and being at university definitely know that some of these have been thrown at me especially the hes your brother not a pull toy and did you put honey on your brothers head? haha my personal favourite being “Stop riding that penguin. We’re leaving”. I may have to use this as some inspiration for my new quirky little doodle obsession and start making them into something like these. more on this soon.

  80. I said the underwear one this morning and my wife asked my daughter to stop licking her arm last night

  81. Natalia said:

    I needed this! I especially love “Stop riding that penguin” and “Don’t lick my arm…that’s what weird kids do.” Hilarious and reassuring that I am not alone!

  82. Somer said:

    Super funny, pretty sure I have said nearly all those things to my kids in some form or another! Love it!

  83. Madeline Lund said:

    Thanks for giving me the smile I needed today!

  84. It is like you live in my brain. I have three boys and I think you should make a sign that looks like the picture I posted yesterday. allthatmakesyou.com and read yesterdays, “Your dad is a bone doctor! How can you NOT know there is NOT a bone in it?”

  85. So funny!

    For the record, though? You CAN build a fort at my church.

  86. aiida21 said:

    Reblogged this on aiida21 and commented:
    It’s simple but more necessary

  87. Hilarious post-thanks for the smiles. I totally can relate.
    I once said to the 5-year-old in my family, “Put that fish back in the tank NOW!”.

  88. Imdresses said:

    Hihi.. love it!

  89. Manu said:


    Blog of liefde

  90. judiciousjoan said:

    We that does have children really can relate to this. Nice posters.

  91. Reblogged this on awomynous and commented:
    Speaking of thinking like a mom, I thought these were very appropriate. :)

  92. Lotto Results said:

    Hilarious collection of posters! Congratulations on being freshly pressed! Well deserved post.

  93. thats what you call a good waste of time…
    i approve

  94. Charlie said:

    This was great to read. I can remember my mom yelling at me “you can’t expect the dog to play with you when you’ve chased her under the bed and you’re hitting her with the yard stick!” Really I wasn’t hitting her, I was just poking her to get out from under the bed to play… no wonder I got bit!!! Lesson learned… dogs have teeth and are much faster than a three year old getting under and out from beneath the bed, plus – the poodle didn’t want to play if she’s hiding from you in the first place. My poor mother – she earned every grey hair on her head!

  95. These are really great. I find myself saying the underwear comment quite often – although there are times I just join them. Congratulations on being “pressed”

  96. Things I have had to request of my son:
    “Do not lick your grandmother!”
    “Do not rub snot on people’s clothes!”
    “Do not sniff the crotch of your pants! If you wore them, they’re dirty! Put them in the wash!”
    “Please get the cat out of the bathtub!” (yes, cats can swim, but a five week old kitten treading water in an old claw foot tub is just a bit too cruel)
    “You cannot pee on the oak tree out front next to the road!”

    Now that he has his own child, I wonder what interesting requests he will need to make of his daughter. Tee-hee!

  97. I love these posters. It will effective surely. Even myself is fond of with pictures and photos because of children mind. Only letters are boring… even my blog. I am planning to attach photos later. Thank you for your giving me idea. And please continue your artistic activity like this :o))

  98. Reblogged this on queenofbenignneglect and commented:
    If you have children, especially boys, you will fall over laughing at these sayings in poster form. You will also think up a few of your own, either things your parents said to you or ones you told your children (that you NEVER ever thought would come out of your mouth).

  99. Ms.Musings AboutLife said:

    My BFF has 4-year-old twin girls and a 1-year-old boy so I get a daily download of things she has to yell.

  100. Haha loved all of these, and I have actually said a few of them myself

  101. I think I just died of laughter. And this was hilarious! Great post idea, congrats on getting freshly pressed! :)

  102. sewbend said:

    How funny… I thought those things were only said in my house.. lol! I’m glad I’m not alone :) Thanks for a humorous post!

  103. Hahah! I loved the first one. Although I don’t have kids I do have a 2 year old brother and these do remind me of some of the things I’ve shouted in exasperation!

  104. If I had known that making a fort in church was an option, I would’ve gone for it when I was a kid!

  105. Sew Smug said:

    Brilliant! Yep, I can relate too. I have one dirty little 3 year old…I recently had to tell him that “going to the toilet for a ‘number two’ should not be referred to as ‘i’ve done a bucket full of eels’”. Dirty filthy little boys…I could write a book!

  106. josh said:

    Reblogged this on and commented:
    These are hilarious and beautiful! I have a new love.

  107. Reblogged this on House Of Lydeeah Jade and commented:
    This fine Thursday Morning I checked out this amazing featured blog post and it made me laugh, the cute posters from Artist Nathan Ripperger of all the things he said to his kids.

    Check out DenyDesigns.wordpress.com

    Love Lydeeah

  108. Too funny! I will be laughing at this all evening. Thanks so much for sharing that!!

  109. Skye said:

    So funny! Congrats on being Freshly Pressed

  110. I’ll certainly take these into consideration after I get married and have kids ;)

  111. thecoastallivingmom said:

    Haha. So funny! Hope I never have to say those things to my son!

  112. Worst admission ever…”No more tomatoes until you eat some fries!” What?!?

  113. SMH92 said:

    I nearly bust out laughing when I read “That’s what weird kids do.” Fantastic.

  114. It’s not the number of these that I’ve said that frightens me. It’s how many I’ve said within the last week.

    Reminds me of one of my all-time favorites, said by Col. Henry Blake on M*A*S*H: “I know she put ice cubes in your underwear, girls are like that. But it is not ok to hit your sister with the cat!”

  115. Aidyearts said:

    funny, unique, cute!

  116. mooandflo said:

    I might have to get myself a set of those posters :)

  117. Haha! I literally laughed out loud! Can’t wait until I have kids, so I can make my own list!

  118. miiu said:

    I tried to pick out a favorite but I couldn’t, they’re all brilliant. Makes me want to decorate the nursery with these posters…

    • Nathan Ripperger said:

      These are available for purchase on my new Etsy store. I’ve decided I needed to open one after you and so many others have asked about them.


  119. Thank you I needed a laugh today more than you could ever know.

  120. You have to have been spying on my home…A popular one around our house is “Why hasn’t this poop been flushed?”

  121. Aron said:

    Lol :)) Very true!

  122. My favorite “I’m not talking to you until you’re wearing underwear!” :)
    Great post

  123. This is a crack up! My favorite rule I just came up with last week:

    Even though technically you CAN “milk” the momma dog, that does not mean you should “milk” the momma dog…and for future reference the same rule applies to the cat.

    I started a facebook community for parents to share the funny rules that they never thought they would say. :-) Anyone can post!

  124. So hilarious. These sound very familiar and I don’t even have kids!

  125. love these though worryingly i can see me saying some of them to my otherhalf

  126. HILARIOUS! My favorites are “Stop riding that penguin” and “Get that toilet seat off of your head”…I have had to say both things to my daughter! o.O

  127. Ken Leota said:

    I thought the penguin one was the funniest. What a great idea to make those words into posters! Too cute.

  128. Av said:

    super funny it is…ROFL..

  129. Reblogged this on RACK THE NERVES and commented:
    Posters about all the things your parents used to tell you when you were younger. So true!

  130. Nichol Caddingham said:

    Reblogged this on Modern Gentleman and commented:
    funny and well-designed posters by a Midwest graphic artist.

  131. Very funny, unique things! I love the penguin riding one!

  132. James said:

    LOL I loved this. My wife and I are about to have our first child, he is a boy and he is due 5 days before our 2 year wedding anniversary. I have to say I loved your post. We are hoping and praying for all boys. Thank you for the much needed laugh…

  133. cnaska said:

    lol !! this is too funnny! Don’t have kids yet but I’m sure my mom said one (or two) of those things to me ;)

  134. These are so funny! I think i’ll link this to my primary school teachers group – they will go down a treat!
    Thanks so much for sharing the laugh!

  135. Reblogged this on therosesthorn and commented:
    I love this! Now that my son is beginning to understand what i’m saying to him, I’m starting to empathise with blogs like this!

  136. C. R. said:

    These are really great! Totally made me smile, thanks!

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